As I started to do some research on the internet about Joshua Harris, his book and what people thought about his book (good and bad) I came upon the following site that is an interview with Harris discussing IKDG book :
http://www.familychristian.com/books/harris_stjames.asp
This part of the interview really shocked me:
Josh: This was never my intention but some people have taken the message of I Kissed Dating Goodbye and made it something legalistic-a set of rules. That’s something that’s beyond my control and it’s disappointing at times ….
Here we have Harris pretty much shrugging off any responsibility for his book being used improperly. I really question if that is fair? Is it right for someone who “championed” the courtship/group approach to so easily say that it is beyond his control? Certainly with any approach there will be abuses but can and should an author so easily wash his hands of any wrongdoing?
In our litigious society, if one sells a product and doesn’t offer warnings with the produce the manufacturer can be sued. I am not talking about blatant misuses like picking up a running lawnmower with your hands. I am talking about more subtle misuses that wouldn’t be always be normal common sense.
Did this book forget to include the warnings? Could have something been added in the book that would have helped minimize its misuse? Now that he is acknowledging the book is causing this damage, is there something that Harris could and should do to reduce the likelihood of people misusing the system he promotes?
Another interesting note, if you read the rest of the specific answer:
Josh: This was never my intention but some people have taken the message of I Kissed Dating Goodbye and made it something legalistic-a set of rules. That’s something that’s beyond my control and it’s disappointing at times, but what I’m so grateful for what God did in our marriage. He gave us a story that is all about His grace.
it is almost as if he is trying to get away from this problem and talk about something more positive like his marriage. His marriage is great but shouldn’t there be more concern about the problems and misuses his book has produced. There still are unmarried singles with some of them being in a bad situation due to how the system was presented.
I will be curious to hear what people have to say about this.
Tags: Betrothal, C.J. Mahaney, Courtship, Covenant Life Church, I Kissed Dating Goodbye, Josh Harris, Joshua Haris, Legalism, Sovereign Grace, Sovereign Grace Ministries
May 19, 2008 at 8:36 am |
I feel that there will always be critics and counter-opinions on any view that is raised by anybody in the world. What we should really focus on is the fact that Josh wrote what he assumed to be in God’s perspective that’s doing the damage.
May 19, 2008 at 12:16 pm |
Zhang Fan
Thanks for your comment.
I believe that what you are saying is that Joshua wrote what he did believing it was God’s perspective on dating? I don’t deny that he wrote it with the best of intentions.
As I have said for other pages part of the problem is that he wrote enthusiastically about what worked for him in his situation including age. The only problem is that what might have worked for him isn’t necessarily the approach all should take.
My main focus on this entry in my blog is that I don’t see Josh Harris being that concerned and willing to do much to reduce how legalistically his book has and is being used. It is as if he is saying that it wasn’t my intention (even if I could have done more to avoid it) and is in essence washing his hands of the responsibility. I question how proper that is.
June 8, 2008 at 10:40 am |
Yeah, I wonder how he would feel if people who have been hurt by his book wrote him letters about their messed-up relationships.
April 8, 2009 at 6:58 pm |
As someone directly hurt by his books as a high schooler when the books came out I can tell you what he does say. He is too busy to answer or read any personal emails about his books or their affect.
As an author it is your job to communicate your message. Now that I have gone through some of the hell dating can bring including being hurt and stalked I have some better understanding of his points, but his writing is completely inept.
His system does not work, because it isolates Christians singles based on whether they date.
If he was smart he would have gone with a match making system combined with courtship so when people are ready to get married they can have help finding other singles with similar beliefs.
All the females in my Church gave up dating. When I was in HS all the guys kept dating. In the end the guys ended up with a lot of terrible relationships, because we couldn’t find dating Christians and the girls ended up dating when they found the guy they liked in college. All of them that I know of gave up on courtship and are now married.
He’s a real tool who couldn’t bother to write his work in a clear manner and blames his audience for not understanding his heart.
I guess this is an argument against publishing the advice of a 20something.
DieM