Here is my first attempt at a Blog. If things aren’t perfect, please bear with me.
I am patterning this after another blog I have been following which is related to the subject of this blog. The discussion on that blog has been productive and a learning experience for me. My hope is that this blog do the same for myself and others. BTW, it isn’t the intent of this blog to compete with the other blog. This blog is getting much more specific than the other blog.
I have been involved in a few online discussions about Joshua Harris’s book “I Kissed Dating Goodbye.” I have posted my concerns along with others while some people have come to Harris’s defense and defended his philosophy. In these discussions I have seen a number of people complain of the bad effects of the book including how it made meeting someone of the opposite sex harder. One writer complained that it also gave the single men an excuse to be passive, stick to themselves, and not find a mate. One person thought the book had merits but the way it was implemented (including in the author’s own group of churches) was the problem.
The one thing I haven’t seen in these discussions is a lot of people stepping up and saying how well the system Harris promotes worked for them. I am sure there are some out there; hearing almost silence makes me wonder just how well this approach has worked for anyone. If this system really doesn’t work that well, did people follow it due to a “herd” mentality that keeps them from pointing out “the emperor has no clothes?”
Very shortly I will post a summary of my observations (mostly problems) with Harris’s view. Some of my thoughts on the “kissing dating goodbye” philosophy include
- It is reactive.
- It is presented as “a one size fits all” where it is mostly appropriate for teenagers. Harris was 21 when he wrote the book.
- It might have been what was required for Harris due to his situation and that may be the same for others. That said it doesn’t mean that it should be the “norm.” What worked for him may not work for everyone all of the time.
- I spoke earlier of the “herd mentality.” Sometimes I wonder if pastors who think this is a good system are only hearing what they want to hear (that it is a good system). Are these pastors ignoring the problems that occur with this approach?
Recently I have come across a few books written by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend. One of their books seem to be written as stating an opinion on dating different from Harris. More to be shared on this later.
Well welcome to the blog and please post comments. I look forward to the discussion.