I am making another post today. This post is pretty similar to yesterday’s post questioning does”one size fits all.”
One thought that occurs to me here is that this group approach is typically presented as something that is “black and white” with no shades of grey. By this I mean that there is really no middle ground or “freedom” and the same rules should apply to all ages. Another way to say this is that it is presented in a legalistic fashion vs. a guideline.
A lot of things in Christianity are black and white with no middle ground. Since this is the case, people who deal with a lot of black and white issues (such as pastors) have a harder time dealing with and presenting something that can have shades of gray. The author of the I Kissed Dating Goodbye book seemed to present the group approach as a black and white issue with no middle ground. He did in his subsequent book (Boy Meets Girl) indicate that there could be some freedom depending on age/maturity and situation (too bad that wasn’t in his first book or revised first book).
Hindsight and common sense both tell you that the group approach is a good guideline for teenagers and that as someone gets older different guidelines should apply. Perhaps as one moves into their twenties, it is fine to do things one on one with the opposite sex while still doing some things (or earlier stages of a relationship) in a group setting.
One thing to consider is that a lot of pastors that promote the group approach have gotten married at a young age. Thus they don’t have any first hand experience of being an older single and hence they gravitate toward rules that are more appropriate for younger people.