Here is an example that someone posted to another blog. It was on the following url:
The primary reason I decided to post was a message C.J. gave back in the late 1980’s (and yes, I can dig up the tape; I don’t have immediate access to it right now, nor do I remember the message title) where, in the middle of the message, he expressed justifiable concern about an incident related to him regarding two church members, a single man and a single woman. PDI at the time had an unofficial but strict no-dating-with-no-alternative policy for teens and singles. Back to the story: The man was driving down a local roadway when he saw the woman on the side of the road, her car broken down and she was in very obvious need of outside help. She saw the man, recognized him, he recognized her, and to her shock he drove right by. When the man was confronted later about leaving his sister in Christ on the side of the road to fend for herself, he responded by saying that he was “fleeing the appearance of evil,” was torn up inside about leaving her, but said he feared verbal reprisal from church leadership over it. This was a sad but true tale, and when C.J. told it, he followed up by expressing dismay over the direction the organization had gone that led up to a virtual re-telling of the good samaritan story with PDI on the non-Samaritan end of it! This eventually led to a lift on the no-dating ban. What I am wondering is where this dismay and concern went when the current practice of kissing dating goodbye lends itself -and apparently has, according to some testimonies here- to more disasters like the story C.J. related? This brief example is just one of many practices where church growth is forfeited by good intentions that morph into popular trends or even fads that further morph into dogmatics that are retroactively defended by poor exegesis of scripture. This pattern is dangerous, and it needs to stop; at least have a system of checks to discern if biblical fruit is yielding from it.
So here we have an example in Harris’s own church going back to the late 80’s where there was a problem with “kissing dating goodbye.” This would have been about 10 years before Josh Harris published his first book. I wonder why examples of defects like these aren’t mentioned in Harris’s book?
Lesson: Be wary of taking something like this to an extreme or on can become like a Pharisee in your approach.
Here is another example. It can be found at the following url:
I recall coming home the summer after my freshman year of college and going to hang out with some new friends from the SGM community. well, they were going to load like 6 girls into one car, while i had a totally empty one. i offered a girl a ride so that there’d be enough seatbelts for everyone. anyways, this 17 year old girl (i was 18 at the time) declined because she knew her dad would freak out if he knew she’d been alone in a car with me. it wasn’t like we were going to do anything, i was merely offering her a ride.
how can this kind of legalism be defended? that’s utterly ridiculous.
Just remember these examples when someone tells you how much better the kissing dating goodbye/courtship practice is.