The Seven Defects of Courtship/Groups

The 7 Defects of Groups/Courtship

As I have stated before, Josh Harris was quick to point out the defects of dating but didn’t list the defects of courtship though the church he now leads had years of experience with it including its defects. I thought I would work up a list of them

1. Those who promote groups/courtship rarely if ever admit the problems with groups/courtship.
2. Groups/courtship many times leads to avoiding relating with members of the opposite sex vs. learning to relate. This is shown in many groups where the single men and women are “afraid” of each other.
3. Groups/courtship many times forces couples on to a fast track marriage. This can and has resulted in couples marrying to later find they weren’t as good of a match as thought after the “newness” of knowing each other wore off.
4. It can give the single men an excuse for not approaching single women to pursue marriage with them.
5. When a group imposes a requirement for courtship/groups it many times results in legalism.
6. It is made to be a “one size fits all.” What might be appropriate for teenagers is assumed to be proper for singles of all ages.
7. It limits single men and women’s experiences with those of the opposite sex. This results in not being able to get to see appreciate vs. personality types and figure out which is best for you for lifetime partner.

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